During one of my last tours of my 20 year career in the Navy, we had a Navy civil servant who worked on our staff. He was a retired Navy Captain who had been in this particular Civil Service job for two decades.
When I first arrived on the staff, I had very little interaction with him. His boss, a Commander (O5), literally could not control this guy. This crusty aviator seemed to have his own agenda and would not listen to his "boss."
When the commander was transferred, I was directed to move into his billet. I had previously come off of a successful command tour where morale and retention were high and I had a reputation as a people person who got the job done. I was not very crazy about this move, as I came to this staff into a premier position. The admiral "convinced" me it was the right move and I changed offices and filled the new position.
It didn't take long to have my first issue with my new "civilian" employee. He came into my office and said he would be taking the next few days off. I asked him where his leave request was and he said that he had never submitted one in the past. Regardless of how things were done in the past, I was determined to do things right on my watch. Unfortunately, he never submitted that request and lo and behold, he did not come into work the next morning.
I called him at home to check on him the next morning and he "reminded" me that he was on leave. I reminded him that he wasn't. To make a long story short, he did not come to work that day, but he did the following day. As he came into our office area, I told him that I wanted to speak with him and he told me to come into his office. I promptly told him to come to my office, which he did. I then asked him to shut the door and sit down. He just stood there. I asked him again, raising my voice a little, and he then shut the door and sat down.
Through conversation with the guy I relieved, and others, I had learned that this gentleman did not like change. That was pretty obvious.
I told this civilian that I understood that he had been here a very long time and that I could see how it would be frustrating to see the leadership change every 1-2 years. However, that is just the way the Navy works. I told him that I was not there to get in his way; rather, I was there to support him, and to possibly even make things more efficient. I told him that I respected his opinions, but I was not going anywhere anytime soon, and that we had better get along.
We had this conversation a few more times and he actually got the message. From that point on, he was a different man. He was friendly and actually fun to be around. The two of us became very close and I really enjoyed my three years in that position working with him. Others on the staff were amazed that I got along with him so well.
Today, we are both retired from the Navy, but we are still very good friends and stay in touch. He is almost like a father to me. It is amazing how things work out.
The moral of my sea story is, once again, treat people like you want to be treated. I treated him with respect and ensured him that I understood his position. I also stressed that we were a team. Apparently he had not encountered that with previous bosses; unfortunately. Once again, this showed me that the Golden Rule can go a along way.
